Do you wish you had MORE confidence?
You look at your mates or the women at work and you wished you had that THING they do, you can’t put your finger on it but they just seem to have a PRESENCE about them.
Do you wish you were able to make decisions FASTER & EASIER?
You know what to do but for some reason you still hold yourself back when instead, you should have just EXECUTED that thought in your mind.
You know what I mean, right?
We’ve all experienced those moments in our life when we’ve FELT like a failure, yet if we COULD’VE had that bit of courage from within us, our results might have been a lot more positive and productive.
Just IMAGINE if you had that little bit more confidence then it may just see you make that decision faster, take that chance, jump the leap of faith or just help you feel better about yourself.
It could be that missing link to having your husband all over you again, those lost friends re-connecting with you or your kids feeling INSPIRED by you.
It could be and it’s NEVER as far away as you may think.
As they say, life’s a game of inches.
Those split second decisions we make or DON’T make are what create our future and the life that we live in.
We obviously choose what feels right for us at that moment in time but how many moments have you looked back upon and thought…
“What if I’d have just done that instead”
What, what if, what if…
You could make a HUGE list I bet, right?
Which only adds to our confidence taking a hit topping up our ‘LACK OF’ confidence within us for future events.
You’re probably thinking, what does this have to do with Health and Fat Loss…
Well, do you remember what I’ve said in previous blogs?
If not, I’ll remind you.
Everything affects everything, ring any bells?
When we talk about longer-lasting transformation, we have to look at those 3 key areas, your BODY, your BEHAVIORS and your BUSINESS.
Your confidence is well and truly a major ROCK within your BEHAVIOURS and plays an important part in your ability to perform everyday tasks.
Which in turn has a MASSIVE influence on your Fat Loss results.
What I see from clients, friends and family all too often is a lack of TRUST in one’s self. A lack of faith in their ability to perform a task or make a decision and most crippling of all, the inability to connect with others in social settings.
Does that sound a little like you?
If you feel like crawling under the carpet when walking into a family gathering, or finding yourself mumbling your words when a member of the opposite sex approaches you and says hello to you, then I guarantee you’ll find this useful, so I invite you to carry on reading.
But the TRUTH is you don’t really lack confidence.
You lack CERTAINTY.
The most attractive person in the room or the one who has the most confidence…
Is the one who is in true alignment with who they are, what they want and BELIEVE in.
But let’s get a little clearer around that statement.
There are 2 MAIN areas where most people are lacking in confidence.
1. You Don’t Feel Good Enough
Have you ever thought to yourself that you’re not good enough?
Maybe this is the reason as to why you’ve not started, it’s a fairly common reason as to why many people PROcrastinate.
Seriously, most people know ENOUGH to just get them going, but something holds them back.
If you’re anything like the people I’ve helped over the past few years then you could be suffering with a little mind virus of comparison.
You simply don’t feel adequate enough or good enough because you’re comparing yourself to your friends, family or the strangers you don’t know living those ‘oh-so-perfect’ lives on Instagram.
“Comparison Is the Thief of Joy”
It’s an easy trap to fall into. We live in the information world now and social media is causing havoc on your confidence levels.
The truth of the matter is that social media only really shows you the highlight reel.
You know what I mean, have you ever seen a movie trailer and thought to yourself, I must go and see that, it looks great.
Only you watch the whole movie and come away feeling a little flat and disappointed.
It’s not the movie you expected.
This is the perfect analogy to describe this.
Social media only show you the ‘good’ stuff, most people in this world are not able to be transparent enough so they only share their wins and exciting stuff to people.
We’re not really here to deep dive into that but it highlights my point nicely, what you see is not always the REAL truth behind closed doors.
You have struggles and so do OTHER people too.
But people get sucked into this belief that others are living out their PERFECT life.
So they look at theirs and feel way down on in the pecking order, this often leads to a NEGATIVE mindset which plays a MAJOR influence on your future decisions and choices.
You know what I’m talking about here.
We’ve all been there.
Can you remember the last time you thought about making a change, taking some serious action…
And for some reason you stalled and thought about it for so long nothing actually happened, did it?
In a nutshell, the FEAR of you starting and not SUCCEEDING was simmering away in the back of your mind.
And if you don’t start then you can’t fail, right?
But who wins with that mindset?
When you get CLEAR on WHO you currently are, DEFINE your beliefs and values. What it is YOU actually want and AGREE on some SIMPLE steps to help you get there…
You start to move away from the COMPARISON mindset to PLAY your own game.
Your sense of FREEDOM comes back and ultimately ENJOYMENT.
2. Fear of Judgment
Another confidence KILLER is living in a place of fear of what others think about you.
Whether you believe it or not.
It’s a THING.
If you believe that you don’t care what others say about you then you are kidding yourself.
But I’m here to help you and not please you.
Without getting GEEKY with you in this blog, your brain is designed to CARE what others think, that’s just the way it is. Part of your brain is built to work around connections.
So that time when Mary was talking behind your back at work, it hurt didn’t it?
You thought she was on your side, didn’t you?
To keep it simple here, the brain took a hit, just like the pain you’d receive for a bang to the knee.
The same part of your brain is responsible for this process.
When it comes to fear of judgment, it’s often this made up thing inside of our heads.
We are good at creating stories.
Only we BELIEVE into them all too easy.
The REALITY is that you wouldn’t worry about this too much if you REALISED how little people actually think or EVEN care about what you’re doing.
The TRUTH is they are too busy worrying about how your actions are affecting them, and not you.
If people are talking about you then it could actually be a sign you’re doing something RIGHT.
This is really common in females. When you’re seen to be the one doing something positive and it highlights their weakness, the easy way out is for them to CONNECT with others.
The more SUPPORT they have, the better they will feel about themselves.
Have you ever been there before?
You’ve been doing something positive only to come away FEELING like you’re the odd one out so you feel negative, even guilty?
You’re are moving forwards
This is where knowing who you’re, what you want and where your values and beliefs lay…
Will BULLETPROOF your mind from the negative thinkers and naysayers.
This is why I am a MASSIVE believer in making sure people have the right MINDSET before they start any Health & Fitness Plan.
Everything Affects Everything.
Which is one of the major pillars of my Healthformation Programme, in this we cover The 3 C’s in the 12 Step C.A.R.E System.
It’s a simple process that will help you gain the knowledge and know how to do what it is you’re trying to achieve.
With clarity, you’re already on your way to achieving more than ever but have you ever known what to do, yet you still end up not doing it?
We all have, right?
Well, this process will help you in those moments where you either DOUBT yourself or OTHERS start pointing the finger and acting NEGATIVE towards you.
We all know someone like that, don’t we?
That person who just seems to put you down when you’re seen to be making a change or being positive. Now whether they’re doing it for the RIGHT or WRONG reason, they are DOING it and it’s having a BIG influence on your own COMMUNICATION levels.
When you DISCOVER how to become a little more BULLETPROOF against YOURS & THEIR communications, you free the way to start taking more positive ACTION and more importantly, taking CONSTANT and PERSISTENT action.
You become more CONSISTENT.
And when you practice, practice and practice some more…
You move forward with momentum and become PROGRESSIVE.
You start to make your life look easy, you UPGRADE YOUR HEALTH and your friends will be asking how you’re doing it.
FAT LOSS CAN BE MADE SIMPLER
Now I make it sound easy, right?
The truth is it CAN be, but I once used to make it HARD for myself.
You see a lack of confidence can be crippling and at one stage in my life, I was hindering my chances of ever becoming the person I aspired to be.
I feared being judged and never spoke up when I felt I should. I stayed away from tasks, believing I wasn’t up for the challenge when deep down the confident Phil was hiding away in a cave far away from reality.
My transformation didn’t really take place until my thirties.
Up until that point, I was a shadow of the man I am today, so I’ve been on both sides of the fence when it comes to CONFIDENCE.
I still remember the day I joined my first gym at 25 years old and I never went back for 6 months through fear.
- I didn’t know WHAT to do.
- I didn’t know HOW to do it.
- Everyone would LAUGH at me.
- I’ll never be GOOD ENOUGH.
So it’s fair to say I have good grounds to talk about confidence and how I could help you too.
If you’re serious about BOOSTING your confidence levels and BECOMING that person with CERTAINTY, then follow these 3 SIMPLE & POWERFUL tips.
If I ask people what their values are then they often don’t know. Even if they do then they are not really living to them. Which is fine, that used to me once.
This work has had such a HUGE impact on my life over the past few years, which is why it a MAJOR part of my Healthformation Programme. In my Know Yourself, Grow Yourself Module, we’ll do this.
This will ultimately give you what I call your compass. It will help keep pointing you in the right direction towards the destination you’ve set on your GPS system.
Just like the values work, without understanding my beliefs then my confidence levels today would not be where they are, I’d still be living in my own shadow.
Your beliefs are like your map, without them then you’ll be trying to use your compass with someone else’s directions. You’ll think you’re heading in the right direction but you’ll never get to that destination you’ve set.
You’ll always be unhappy, chasing and comparing yourself to others.
3. Reverse The Gap
It’s fairly common that people often think they are not good enough, they believe that they’ve not achieved anything and failed.
This is NEVER TRUE.
Something you can start to do today is what I call Reverse the Gap.
Get yourself a notebook and start writing in it everything you’ve achieved. Not just the big stuff like when you bought a car, house or you got that new job.
The small wins too. The smaller the better.
This isn’t a 5-minute job and is something you’ll keep coming back to when something pops into your head.
The REALITY is we FORGET all of those ACHIEVEMENTS inside of our mind, especially the small ones. Which is why when you feel down and NOT ENOUGH, you feel like a failure.
Simply whip out your little book and read back your achievements.
Watch how your current state will change from a negative one into a POSITIVE mindset.
Well, if you apply this 3 SIMPLE & POWERFUL tips then you’ll start to IMPROVE your life and UPGRADE YOUR HEALTH.